Gimme a Break, Yosemite Dave

"It may be smart election-year politics to thump your chest and constantly criticize your friend and your No. 1 trading partner. But it is a slippery slope, and all of us should hope that it doesn't have a long-term impact on the relationship."

So said David Wilkins, the U.S. ambassador to Canada, in a stinging response yesterday to Prime Minister Martin's recent criticism of America's environmental and commercial policies.

In theory, he's right. We should all just get along. We do need closer ties and a more sophisticated relationship with the U.S. In fact, I'm more supportive of closer Canada-U.S. ties - in terms of trade, defense and the environment - than virtually anyone I know. Jack Granatstein, if by chance you're reading this, you would certainly be an exception.

But to swagger in and scold us while claiming the higher ground in the relationship? To respond with threats in the manner of an older brother who's pissed off that we outed him for siphoning booze out of dad's liquor cabinet? Give me a break.

1. As much respect as I have for the U.S. and the lessons we can learn from you in terms of patriotism, capitalism and taking on global responsibilities, you are hardly in a position to be dishing out advice when it comes to bilateral relations. Really.

2. You can't pretend the same thing doesn't happen during your elections. It was only last year that Canada was in the crosshairs of the Democratic campaign (fuelled no doubt in part by CNN's omniscient Lou Dobbs) as an offshore haven stealing jobs from hard working Americans. On the other side of the political spectrum, many of us will remember Pat Buchanan's lovely reference to "Soviet Canuckistan" as a nation of whining freeloaders.

3. What's the slippery slope you're talking about, and where does it lead? Will you stop buying our oil? Our natural gas? Our lumber? Our cars? Will the next defense budget include funding for new northern Minutemen? Just what are you hinting at?

4. Regardless of tit-for-tat comments of recent weeks, you still owe us $5-billion!

Rather than tell Wilkins where he can shove his belt buckle, I ask that he give it a rest and let the campaign take its toll. Yes, electioneering leaders are like kids in the sandbox that need some adult supervision when they get nasty. But with all due respect, that adult is the voting public, not David Wilkins.